The 18 Principles of Hosting in a Robotic Assisted Home
An Etiquette Guide to Social Courtesy in a Robotic Assisted Household
Etiquette emerges most clearly at moments of social transition, when long-entrenched assumptions no longer hold and ordinary interactions begin to feel uncertain. When Emily Post published Etiquette in the early twentieth century, domestic life was undergoing a monumental shift. Household staff were disappearing, women’s roles were changing, and new technologies like telephones, automobiles, electric appliances were entering private life without shared rules to govern their use. Emily Post did not seek to make moral judgments about the shifts in society; she simply offered a practical social guide. Etiquette was a set of shared expectations that allowed people to move through changing domestic spaces with confidence and ease.
We find ourselves at a comparable moment today. Public, industrial, and commercial encounters with robotics are and will increasingly be shaped by legal, regulatory, and institutional policies. The private home, however, creates a different category altogether. Within it, individuals who have actively chosen to live alongside robotics retain singular authority over how they interact with their robotic staff. The strict policy of the public setting and the comparative individuality of the private setting leave a gap as to social interaction when guests enter a private space. Hosting others in a robotically assisted home remains entirely undefined which can create moments of uncertainty where neither law nor custom offers clear, uniform guidance on how to handle social interactions. The potential discomfort produced through the lack of social norms when a host has robotic staff like who greets the guest, accepts a hostess gift, takes a coat or gives directions to the washroom are compounded by issues surrounding data privacy and protection, mixed consent management and biological and robotic staff dynamics.
The principles that follow are offered in the same spirit as Post’s original work. They are not technical guidance, but a proposed unified code of conduct for hosts, designed to reduce social friction, promote comfort, and ensure that even in the shifting societal sands of a robotically assisted home, hospitality and courtesy remain.
1. The Host Always Greets the Guest
The host answers the door in person.
The robot may assist, but never replaces the human welcome.
Guests are never admitted silently or independently by a machine.
Etiquette principle:
Being welcomed to the home remains human and consent is established.
2. The Host Handles All Social Exchanges
The host receives hostess gifts personally.
The robot may carry items but does not accept them socially.
Expressions of gratitude, welcome, or closure remain human.
Etiquette principle:
Social obligation belongs to and for people, not robots.
3. Authority and Prioritizations are Established Quietly
The host ensures the robot defers to them during the visit.
The host quietly establishes who the robot prioritizes for the evening.
Authority disputes or questions are never played out in front of guests.
Etiquette principle:
Authority should be invisible, never contested publicly.
4. The Host Introduces the Robot and Clarifies Its Role
The host introduces the robot briefly and by name.
Guests are told what they may comfortably ask it to do.
Interaction is optional for the guest.
Etiquette principle:
An introduction removes uncertainty; permission removes pressure.
5. The Host Prepares Consent Forms in Advance
The host prepares a simple consent or preference form in advance.
It is available discreetly on an iPad, via message or on paper.
Guests are never pressured to sign consent forms in the robot’s presence.
Etiquette principle:
A good host removes pressure before it arises.
6. The Host Manages Mixed Consent with Equal Care
When consent differs, the host governs by the most restrictive standard present.
Non-consenting guests set the tone while they are in the home.
The host treats the evening in segments as guests arrive and depart.
Etiquette principle:
Comfort for all is paramount.
7. The Host Defaults to Non-Consent
Unless explicitly requested, the host assumes guests prefer not to be remembered.
Non-consent is treated as ordinary and reasonable.
Forgetting is framed as courtesy, not limitation.
Etiquette principle:
Guests are entitled to privacy.
8. The Host Protects Children Without Exception
The host does not request consent from minors.
The host ensures no identifying data is retained.
Parents or guardians are reassured without spectacle.
Etiquette principle:
Children are guests who cannot give consent to data collection.
9. The Host Disables Daily Automation Routines
The host pauses routines that imply closure or control.
Automated daily cues (lighting, music, temperature) do not rush guests.
The host governs the evening, not the household automations.
Etiquette principle:
A robot should not accidentally or purposefully give cues to dismiss a guest.
10. The Host Deals with Errors Gracefully
If the robot makes an error, the host apologizes.
Corrections are made quietly.
Guests are never asked to manage the system.
Etiquette principle:
The guest should never bear the burden of the robot’s mistakes or operation.
11. The Host Closes the Evening Personally
The host returns coats personally or assisted by the robot.
The host offers to delete the evening’s data even with consent forms signed.
Closure is marked by care and courtesy, not automation.
Etiquette principle:
An evening ends with intention, the human touch and a courtesy offer of deletion.
12. The Host Ensures the Guest Addresses the Robot First
The host does not allow the robot to initiate conversation with guests.
The host ensures the robot responds only when addressed directly by a guest or the host.
The host reassures guests that they are free to ignore the robot entirely.
Etiquette principle:
The guest should lead the interaction.
13. The Host Personally Oversees Dietary Restrictions
The host personally handles food for guests with allergies, intolerances, or dietary laws.
The robot does not prepare, plate, or serve restricted foods.
Cross-contamination and cultural insensitivity is actively avoided.
Etiquette principle:
What carries risk or meaning remains handled exclusively by hosts or biological staff.
14. The Host Receives Guests Accompanied by Their Own Robots with Courtesy and Clear Boundaries
The host welcomes the guest first and then addresses the guest about the robot.
The guest’s robot is offered a waiting place (e.g., foyer) and charging if appropriate.
The guest’s robot does not circulate unless invited to do so by the host.
Etiquette principle:
Guests are welcomed; their assistance waits nearby.
15. The Host Attends to the Robot’s Appearance
The host ensures the robot appears clean, orderly, and unobtrusive.
Novelty or spectacle of light, sound or accessories are avoided.
Appearance signals formality and restraint.
Etiquette principle:
Household staff should appear orderly for company.
16. The Host Coordinates Biological and Robotic Household Staff
The host ensures human staff are never directed by the robot.
Authority over people remains human.
Corrections are private; dignity is preserved.
Etiquette principle:
Respect must always be shown and dignity preserved.
17. The Host Defers Cleaning Until Departure of the Final Guest
Loud or conspicuous cleaning does not begin while guests are present.
Serveware may be quietly removed to another room.
Full cleaning waits until the guests have departed, even if the host can stay engaged.
Etiquette principle:
A guest should never feel tidied away or be faced with unnecessary noise.
18. The Host Discloses Cross-Estate Data Sharing
The host notes if domestic robots share preferences across residences.
Continuity is named before benefiting from it.
Guests may opt out or remove guest preference profiles at any time.
Etiquette principle:
Familiarity should never travel ahead of consent.
Etiquette is the shared standard we practice in order to facilitate comfort in our interactions with those we invite into our lives. As domestic technology becomes more capable of operating autonomously within the home, that responsibility gains complexity. The principles noted serve as a unifying guide of behavior and ask nothing of the host beyond humanity, discretion, and the willingness to moderate the interaction between guest and robot when needed. In this sense, the task before us is the same one Emily Post addressed a century ago: to name shared standards at a moment of change, so that uncertainty does not challenge courtesy. The future of domesticity will be shaped not only by the machines we choose to live with, but by the care with which we continue to engage with one another in their presence.